The Fear of losing, a perspective shift for lifelong success.
We love the feeling of reaching our goals. We put in all the hard work and even learn to sacrifice to find success and the feeling is great! But, sometimes we hit plateaus or obstacles that get in our way of continued progress.
Fear of losing
We often hear people talk about the fear of losing and how it was that fear that created the loss. They will say that when a person is afraid they are going to lose something, they create an undue pressure on them to succeed and that the pressure takes them off their game or their focus. It’s a loss of clarity and being overwhelmed by what they say is negative self talk that they cant win. They are focused on not losing instead of success.
This is a perspective and that’s all it is. If you want to make this a belief you can and certainly when you feel the fear creep in you will pay attention to it and you focus on it instead of focusing on success. But this is picking up in the wrong place like trying to pick up a movie toward the end and trying to understand it. Your perspective of the movie will be very different than those who have been watching it from the beginning.
It’s the same thing as this fear. If you pick up on this fear just at the start of the game or competition or right before you get up to make your sales pitch or big speech then of course you would react to it and shut down and ultimately fail. But that’s not how things actually work. Most of us know that we have things to do in our lives, its written on our schedules and in our calendars on our phones. We know that there are these up and coming events and that it could be weeks or months before it happens.
Since we know then we can prepare. So this is where we need to look at our fears and decipher what it is we are truly feeling and through this understanding we can make choices in our favor. The perspective shift is that we either re-frame our fear as nothing more than a sense of urgency to get us moving and prepare for the day to come or we embrace this fear and say it is a good fear and that it will motivate me to prepare and as I get closer to the time of event my fear will turn into calm because I am fully prepared.
Being prepared is the key
Being prepared is the key here and this sense of urgency or fear is the match that lights the fire under our feet to really take the time to prepare. What ever it is that you are doing in your life when you go in prepared then your mindset will be completely different. The more you practice something the deeper is your understanding of the situation and the deeper is the understanding of WHO YOU ARE! You begin to learn things about yourself that you never realized. You peel the layers back and reveal your courage, willpower,discipline, and any hidden talents you may have. You may discover something about yourself that can put you on a new career path or make your relationships with those around you healthier and stronger.
Life is a journey not a destination. Although our minds always create a destination and we even prioritize reaching it, the reality is that we are learning and becoming who we are truly meant to be by the journey. In fact it’s not uncommon for someone to expect a specific destination only to find that the journey brought them to a completely different and unexpected place. This is the best part of life. The surprise! Everyone likes being surprised and if it wasn’t for life’s little surprises then it would be pretty boring.
What if you shift your perspective and focus on success and you don’t achieve what you wanted?
So you took action, you didn’t focus on the FEAR OF LOSING but instead you focused on success and the journey. But one day you stop dead in your tracks to say that you feel like you failed. Certainly if you decide it’s time to quit and that you failed then you failed. By your own choice! But what if you don’t accept it as a failure but instead a crucial learning episode on what is a far greater journey. When approaching a failure like this we no longer see it as failure but instead a twist or a curve on a greater mission that still may not have revealed itself.
The Fear of losing is the fear of failure. It can also be looked at as the fear of not getting what you wished for and not reaching an expectation. But the the sweetness of life and its surprises is that you may not have gotten what you thought you wanted but instead you found what you truly need. That may not be money,fame or power but something far more valuable , you may have found a person inside of you that has been waiting patiently to emerge and fly free. You may have created awesome relationships that will be with you for the rest of your life. Or you may discover that it’s the simple things in life that truly make you happy.
Reaching for greatness will certainly put you at risk of losing or failure but Without risk there is no gain. There is no self discovery. Having the freedom to lose is our greatest power .